There's More to Flirting Than Most Men Think

How do you successfully flirt with women? Let's say you are short, old, ugly, flat-broke or bald: Is there any hope? Are you tired of being alone but you fall flat on your face each time you come close to a girl? Are you awfully shy? Are you paralyzed at the idea of speaking to a beautiful woman? Are you tired of women telling you that they only want to be friends? Do you stand aside and see other men steal your dates? Is there one, special woman you have your heart set on but you can't seem to get started with her? Are you blocked by clumsy conversations that come to an abrupt stop because you can’t think of anything to say? In short, do you feel like a fool wearing some kind of girl repellant?



The problem with all of this is, in fact, very simple and can be fixed easily and quickly once you uncover some basic facts about what makes women tick. Men are comfortable with solving problems with logic and they fail to realize that females operate completely differently. Women respond emotionally and all successful flirting is concerned with receiving an emotional response from a girl. Once a girl is responding to you with her emotions, she may describe her actions using logic but logic has absolutely nothing to do with getting things started. The fact is that a lady's emotions must be triggered first or all the gifts and fancy dinners won’t do you a bit of good. On the other hand, you can build an instant connection if you are aware of the correct things to do and say.



Anyone can begin a conversation with a female but logic tells a lot of guys to not even attempt this. At the root of this is fear of rejection. It’s like, "nothing ventured, nothing lost." The trouble with that technique is that it gets you nowhere and keeps caught in a place of not receiving what you really yearn for. The irony with regard to all of this is that your hesitation and your shyness (which you think is guarding you from rejection) are as evident to a girl as the nose on your face. You can't disguise it and it functions strongly against your possibility of success.



There is some primeval, biological programming functioning here that may not be obvious to you or the girl, for that matter. Nevertheless, it pays to understand it and deal with it. Take a look at a herd of elk during mating season. The stronger males battle each other for the privilege of mating with all the female elk in the herd. Only a single male wins. The logic behind this is that the most powerful male probably has the strongest genetic makeup and this guarantees strong and healthy calves and, thus, the long-term survival of the herd. The females respond to this show of strength and willingly mate with the victorious male. The weaker males are banished into exile.



Since we're seemingly a civilized species, we don’t usually walk around striving to beat up every other man in the vicinity. As an alternative, we try to appear to be genuinely more confident, more secure, more intelligent and funnier. Ladies respond to this with their emotions, not their logic. Ladies respond negatively to visible weaknesses like fear, lack of confidence, shyness, etc. The good news is that to cause women to react positively to you, you don’t have to be handsome or the right age. If your appearance or age is a factor used in your rejection, it is, by no means, the underlying reason for the rejection, although the woman may use it as an excuse not to be with you. The real reason that you are being rejected is that you failed to strike a chord with the woman's emotions.



Your ability to flirt with success requires that you understand some special flirting strategies that work and find out how to avoid flirting techniques that don't work. A few, very specific "lines" will always be advantageous in engaging a girl in conversation while the majority of "lines" will be seen as such and will be used against you. The fact is that 90% of successful flirting is silent, composed of looks, mannerisms and body language. Once a girl is intrigued with you, she will consciously or unconsciously give you signals to that effect: You need to learn to understand these signals and take advantage of them in the moment.



All girls are looking for particular traits in a man. You need to find out what these characteristics are and broadcast those instead of qualities that drive women away. Humor is a powerful flirting tool. Use it but keep your eyes open to see if she is laughing. If you can get her to laugh with you, you have accomplished most of the task already. If she is not smiling and laughing, stop trying to be humorous because it's clearly not taking you where you want to go. Try a different strategy. When you are flirting, you need to study what’s working out and what’s not and be willing to change your approach in an instant.



If you are truly intrigued with the same things that enthrall her, that will work in your favor. If she tells you something, pick up on that and turn it to your benefit. Try to find out what particular behaviors seem to tap into her emotions and move towards sexual chemistry.



Touching can be a potent tool for flirting but it MUST be done appropriately and in the right order for it to work for you and not against you. Because touch is so potent, it can backfire powerfully if done wrong or too early.



Learn how to tell stories that hypnotize her heart rather than bore her. Learn how to deal with her "testing" you by already knowing what the secret agenda is that explains her actions.



Learn how to "turn the tables on her" thus shifting the court to your advantage. Make her start to wonder what you will do or say next. Spark her interest. Cause her to start chasing you, rather than the opposite. Speak quietly and with authority and self-confidence. As you take control of the conversation, notice that she seems to be more and more relaxed with you.



Never listen to what girls tell you that they find appealing in a man. They are either lying to you or themselves or both. As an alternative, find out what they actually find appealing by noticing how they react favorably or unfavorably to what is being said in the conversation. Learn to take note of the non-verbal "green lights" that ladies use to signal the presence of sexual chemistry. Look for specific eye signals to inform you if she’s ready for sexual activity.



Usually, what works ends up by contradicting everything you once believed you knew about flirting. All women are looking for certain traits that they require from the men in their lives. Teach yourself what these particular traits are, develop them in yourself and then validate the fact that you are a man who possesses them.



After the end of a military operation, there is commonly a de-briefing session for those who participated. The goal of these meetings is always the same: Discover what went right and do more of that next time AND discover what went wrong and, therefore, what not to do in the future. Using this practice, each succeeding mission should be more successful than the last. It’s the same with flirting. Discover what to do and what not to do and create a mental checklist. After the flirting is over, mentally de-brief yourself about what was successful and what errors may have been made. Use this to hone yourself for the next encounter.



In summary, you need to discover how women process information. Never use logic, to start: Determine if you can use your conversation to captivate the girl emotionally. Turn the tables to put yourself in control of the situation: This never means being bossy or manipulative. It merely means being self-confident, self-directed and perhaps, just a wee bit aloof. Let her determine that you are worth going after. And, finally, pay attention to the body language that tells you that you are on the right track.





About the Author:



Bob Gillespie writes on many subjects including how to flirt with women. He is a full-time Internet marketer and author who lives on the island of Maui in Hawaii. Learn more about how to flirt with women at Bob's blog at:



http://tips-for-flirting.inetwyoming.com



Other blogs of possible interest:



http://lovemaking-tips.inetwyoming.com



and



http://alpha-male.inetwyoming.com